I want to help but must help myself first with my chronic pain

Most mornings I wake up sore, burning and am slow.  I wrap myself in my heat blanket, try some stretching and rest. Every now and then completing a small task, feeding the dogs, preparing my smoothie, putting dishes away etc. As much pain as I'm in I know it's important to keep moving.
It's hard and I can see how most people who have chronic pain don't have the motivation to work, to go out and to most importantly exercise.
I'm learning myself how little I can actually do. It's hard and yeah it sucks. I get so frustrated that so little actually flares up my back however I'm now listening to my body and this is what it is. I must learn, as hard as it is , to get used to my new lifestyle.
I can't wait to run the pain support group again. I had to give it up due to it creating too much pain, meaning I did way too much....that is for someone living with chronic pain.

Work....it's important. I probably am working too much. 18 hours however I need human interaction. It's in my blood. I love being around others. I love helping others. I love making people laugh. Some days are so hard. Working through pain is not easy, as you'd know however it's important to keep that human interaction open. As humans it's important to keep that interaction.
I try to change my body position. Sometimes it's hard when you're incredibly busy. I'll stretch when needed. I have a yoga mat there. I sit on the floor, sometimes my head in the desktop cause the pain is unbearable. That's when I know I have to leave.

The people I work with are amazing and so understanding. I believe life brought me there. I've never seen a work environment this accepting. My director knows everything. I wanted to be honest as things will get tough due to having a case. My depression fluctuates and as I care about my job I wanted him to know what was going on. Not only the depression but my pain.

Please remember that life is sometimes unfair however it's up to us how we chose to succeed in life with our future.
As I've mentioned I'm still trying to figure things out. I'm really hurt and sad and angry at times however it's not what drives me. I'm fighting hard to climb up and find happiness. To accept my life. And always keep hope that one day they'll discover a new device, meditation...whatever that will turn my pain off.

I hope these blogs help those that respond them. If anything it's helping myself. A way to express myself when I'm down.

Chin up, stay strong and don't ever lose hope.

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